Monday, December 10, 2007

Team Moron Goes to an offsite

So The Morons Strike again..... Our Brain Trust C-level Moron and Sr. Vice Moron decided to have an off site with some of the leadership with in the group.. So off we go to 6 hours of Death by power point...

What did I get out of it you may ask???

1. My boss does not send anything up the chain that is bad news like 20yr old Data centers that need to be replaces

2. The CEO of the Moron Company makes not much more than I do.. - Hmm interesting.. I drive a Dodge - he has like 10 Mercedes and BMWS and a really expensive James Bond car... so I guess we are on the same pay grade!!! - NOT

3. Its time to find a new Job... I really need to get out of this place.. The Morons are Dragging me down to their Level and Beating me with Experience.

So after the wonderful off site which was a complete waste of time except for a good free lunch. We are now totally informed on what the Moron expect..

I took the high road on one issue.. I have raised several issues to my Boss C-level Moron and gave him several option on how to fix them... Has he shared any of this info - NO!!!! SO the Sr. Vice Moron asked me to give him this info via the C-level - moron.. I wonder where that is going to go..- NO where..


Wednesday, December 5, 2007

The Moron Sleeps today!!!!

One of our techs caught our fearless SVP napping on the Job... So to honor him I dedicate

The Moron Sleeps today!!!!

We-be dumb we-be dumb, We-be dumb we-be dumb, re-ally dumb-a-way
We-be dumb we-be dumb, We-be dumb we-be dumb, re-ally dumb-a-way

A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way
A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way

A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way
A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way

In the chair the real big Chair the moron sleeps today
In the chair the real big Chair the moron sleeps today

We-be dumb we-be dumb, We-be dumb we-be dumb, re-ally dumb-a-way
We-be dumb we-be dumb, We-be dumb we-be dumb, re-ally dumb-a-way
A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way
A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way
A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way
A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way

In his office his big corner office the moron sleeps during the day
In his office his big corner office the moron sleeps during the day

We-be dumb we-be dumb, We-be dumb we-be dumb, re-ally dumb-a-way
We-be dumb we-be dumb, We-be dumb we-be dumb, re-ally dumb-a-way
A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way
A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way

A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way
A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way

Hush everyone, you better be quiet. The moron sleeps today
hush everyone, you better be quiet. The moron sleeps today

We-be dumb we-be dumb, We-be dumb we-be dumb, re-ally dumb-a-way
We-be dumb we-be dumb, We-be dumb we-be dumb, re-ally dumb-a-way

A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way
A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way

A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way

A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way A-mo-ron-a-way

Tuesday, December 4, 2007


Runnin' With The Morons
I run my group like there's no tomorrow
And all I've got I had no idea how
Least I don't need to think or contemplate
Yes I'm working at a place that kills
Runnin' with the Morons
Runnin' with the Morons
I found the Stupid life is so stupid
When I jumped out on that Satellite
I got no Brains, no Brains you'd call real
Ain't got nothing waiting between the ears
Runnin' with the Morons
Runnin' with the Morons
You know I, I found the Stupid life is so stupid
When I jumped out on that Satellite
I got no Brains, no Brains you'd call real
Ain't got nothing waiting between the ears
Runnin' with the Morons
Runnin' with the Morons
Runnin' with the Morons
Runnin' with the Morons

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

They are beating me....

Did you ever get dragged down to some ones level of stupidity and they start to beat you down with experience.. Well I am feeling that here at the H company..


I am beggining to Beilve that I don't communicate well, don't talk to anyone who I manage.. And I meet with my new Boss at least once a week.. - I guess I must sleep a lot too cause I don't recall any meetings with my new boss or any interaction with him outside of a poorly run project meeting..

I guess its time for me to accept the fact that as long as I am here the Morons will win.. Nothing I can do about it... Nothing I can say will make it better... I just have to learn to comply with the morons...

Monday, November 19, 2007

Meet the new CEO of Moronville


He's beetle
He's as bad as can
And he knows
He's the best

This is beetle
Is as bad as can
He knows
He's the best

He's big and he's strong
And he knows he is badder
And he knows what he gets
He knows what he knows
He knows what we have
He knows what he gets
It gets better

Beetle is as bad as can
He knows he's the best
This is beetle
Is as bad as can
He knows he's the best

He's big and he's strong
And he knows he is badder
And he know what he gets
He knows what he knows
And he knows what we have
He knows what he gets
It gets better
And he's a tough guy
And he knows and he knows the best i can

He's beetle
He's as bad as can
He knows he's the best
Is as bad as can
And he knows he's the best
This is beetle
Is as bad as can
And he knows he's the best

Its beetle x4


Its beetle x2

Its beetle
He's as bad as can
And he knows he's the best
Its beetle
Is as bad as can
And he knows he's the b-e-e-e-e-e-e-st

Another One Bites the Dust

So here at club moron we have what we call the Dead pool...

So we lost another today... Our DOS... DOS is a good guy and well knows what he knows and knows that club moron is not for him...

We will miss DOS... But as we say here in the land of the moron "YOU LUCKY BASTARD"

Just remember never argue with a Moron they will drag you down and beat you with experience.

So as far as today - Moron #2 the Cxxx of club idiot has been sent about 70 emails about a product that we can't support..... But he doesn't want to do anything about it...

This clown is killing me... I set him up to succeed, but he doesn't want to listen.. Either he is a moron or just plain stupid... I am guessing very very stupid at this point..

How about those JETS!!!!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Buck Foston

Well today is the day... The good guys in the land of the Morons took a hit.. Our good friend and Colleague, BF is leaving us... Our fight against the powers of Moronocricity has taken a big blow..

BF is heading off to retardedment... I am so jealous.. A good guy and the voice of Sanity for us who are trying to remain normal in the land of the moron...

As BF would say how was the play Mrs. Lincoln??? Good I think!!!

But he is tired of the fight against the evil morons and wants to go back to enemy Territory Red Sox nation..

As we say in the Bronx have a Nice Day... But BF is a good guy and he will be missed... But He does owe me Dinner at Tellers.. Yummy... Plus I think he will hook me up in the next Life with Spa treatments at his son's spa on LI... Click-Clack.

So I guess God answers all your Prayers - Some times the answer is no, but in BF's case its yes and YES he can run from the Morons..

So we wish BF good luck in his retardedment and hope it goes well... 20Db hot... True Quam...

Buck Foston

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Today in Moronville

For the latest installment of Mornocracity listen to this one... I have a hard time believing what goes on at the H company on a Daily basis..

Well the Rock stars of Rock fetches are at it again.... Hmm How can we take an operational infrastructure type team and make it fit into a poorly managed cowboy like Development model...

So if you have like 14 people in one group and 16 in another and they do 90% operations work and 10% Value Add? What is Value added? Good question? Value add?

so like 27 of them are operations folks I want to make it so that we do 50% operations and 50% value added stuff..

So how does this work? Its called 3
Card Monti !!!! Shuffle it around until you get my numbers right!!! MORONS

The joys of the H company.... LET MORONS RING!!!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Sunday Silenced

Being a big sports fans has its ups and downs...

Since I have been following sports the last 20 yrs , I have seen some great NY based teams..

Since My move down south I have adopted the Ravens as my #2 go football team

So here have been some good moments in my pro sport History
1. 1986 - Giants win the Superbowl
2. 1990 Giants win the Superbowl
3. 1994 Rangers win the Stanley Cup
4. 1996 Yankees win the World Series
5. 1998- 2000 Yankees win the World Series

Jeff's High school sport Record!!!
1987 Sachem wins the Rutgers Cup!!!! - My High School Football team best team in the County

1986-1988 Sachem Wrestling county Champs - Me - Place winner and runner up as well

So I have seen my share success's and Failures during my sports life...

But yesterday hit Rock bottom.... (I can't even pick on the JETS - good thing they had a bye)

Bengals 21- Ravens 7 6 turnovers - No quarter back poor coaching - Billick must go

Cowboys 31- Giants 20 - so much for six in a row...

So I got to sit throw the Ravens debacle - how bad was that!!!!

The only solace is the redskins lost in bad way to the Eagles!!!! :)

Bon Jovi - with Dee

I am going to see Bon Jovi with my MIL on 28-feb-08 - How sacry is that!!!!
In tribute to this fine occasion I think we need to investigate all the great American Hair Bands!!!!
Yeah, well I've been up and been down, town to town with several bands, Then tortured for ten long years by critics, agents and the A&R man, and some bandwagon fans.
It's time to stand up, fight back, be proud and once again be free, So if you want a piece of me, come and get it!
Kurt Cobain is gone but I'm back Wearing leather pants and a backwards hat Guitars slung low Where the down boys go
The night trains back so on with the show I'm Metal Health And dressed to thrill
I'm an SMF with the looks that kill I rocked and rolled, n' long hair is back
And I grew up, singing Strutter, And Back, in Black I'm going back to eighty-nine I went Platinum zero times
You're in the jungle sweet child o'mine I want another piece of that cherry pie

Chorus #1: (Oooooohhhhhh) They call 'em hairbands Leather jacket in black Throw your hands in the air Yeah we're bringing it back N' Say (Shout, Shout) At the Devil again And Say (Shout, Shout) At the Devil my friend So Say (Shout, Shout) never letting it end and say (Shout, Shout, Shout, Shout) yeah…(Bad Medicine)
I like Old Van Halen and Hanoi Rocks Black n' Blue and Britny Fox Guns n' Roses, Motley Crue When Def Leppard rocked and Skid Row ruled Yeah, Ratt went round n' round Rocking out in Boston, get loud in Chi-town Vandenberg, Priest, Dok-ken, Kix Throwing Faster Pussycat in the mix (P-P-P-P-P-Pussycat) Give me L.A. Guns & The Dangerous Toys Quiet Riot, Bang Tango & Bullet Boys Love Johnny Crash grunge bands are trash I like C.C. DeVille, Mick Mars, and Slash
Chorus: #2 Breakdown: Yeah, I saw your grunge band, staring at your shoes on stage, wearing that dirty flannel shirt, when you gonna learn dirtball, you just can't f**k with Twisted Sister. "What are you going to do with your life"?
I'm an American hairband Watch me rock You can raise your hands Or you can suck my c**k Heavy Metal God I'm a Pin-up boy I'm the singer from Tuff not Pretty Boy Floyd Super loud and Super wild Sebastian Bach is youth gone wild Diamond Dave and Nikki Sixx I wanna see Tommy Lee back spinning those sticks Up all night, gonna sleep all day I love girls; girls, girls and I love L.A. I won't waste my breath, but here's a clue Give Pearl Jam & Eddie a big f**k you Who cares about Weezer and the Screeming Trees When we got White Lion And of course the Sleeze Beez
If you wanna rock n' roll then read my lips Let's shout it out loud For a band named KISS
Chorus: (Oooooohhhhhh) They call 'em hairbands Wearing leather and black So throw your hands in the air Now we're bringing it back N' Say (Shout, Shout) At the Devil again And Say (Shout, Shout) At the Devil my friend So Say (Shout, Shout) never letting it end and say (Shout, Shout, Shout, Shout) yeah, I'm a hairband wanted dead or alive Singing (Shout, Shout, Shout, Shout) I wanna rock n' roll in the still of the night Say (Shout, Shout, Shout, Shout) Gonna take you down to the Paradise city And (Shout, Shout, Shout, Shout) Everybody let's sing talk dirty to me

Friday, November 2, 2007

Just end the Season Part II

So the Mighty Washington Redskins treck north to Giants Stadium this weekend to take on Your New York JETS jets jets jets..........

talk about a Barn burner of a game... The 1-7 Jets and the Superbowl bound Redskins who go robbed last week 52-7 by the Patriots..

As the New England folks call Eric Manjudas and his new QB are looking at the Fearsome Foreskins!!!!

I hate that Friggin fireman- JETS JETS JETS JETS - what ever!!!!! So lets hope for the best and maybe a 0-0 tie but at least we could say that NE isn't running the score up on either team this weekend..

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Justify your existence

We are now into month 3 of the Moron Reign of terror... An Today all Sr. Dir and up got this memo for our illustrious SVP (Aka Moron #1)

" All I have been asked repeatably why we have so many people... I think we need to take a long hard look at what we do and see how we can come up with Better ways to do things with less resources"

"I need each of you to give me a list of projects and Day to day events that we can outsource and do with Cheaper labor" (I am in India looking at an outsource agreement as I type this email)

Please have this completed by COB today.. I would like to get the ball rolling on this by 15-Nov and if we need to RIF folks we can do it then.


Your Friend the SVP (aka Mron #2)

So another delemma here at Moron U... Not sure how to take this one.. but We have three folks resign today and my guess is we are going have a few more before the end of the year... If I make it to Bonus time, there will be a mass exodus after that..

The sad part this could be a great place to work if we didn't have the Family running the place... Can some one say West Virginia - Oh I guess its India East!!!!

Friday, October 26, 2007


A Sr. Director of H Company, was attacked by Morons, his family members say. The Company has around 10,000 Morons, some of which have taken to roaming through buildings as they steal food and rip apart documents. What should you do if Morons are picking on you?

It's like Mom said about muggers: Just give 'em what they want. When Morons get aggressive, it's usually because they think
you have something to eat. According to one study, about three-quarters of all the aggressive interactions between long-tailed Idiots and tourists at G-towns Moron Forest involved food. If you are holding a snack, throw it in their direction, and they'll stop bothering you. If you don't have any food, hold out your open palms to show you're not carrying a tasty treat or back away from the Morons without showing fear. To diffuse the situation, don't make eye contact or smile with your teeth showing—in the nonhuman primate world, these are almost always signs of aggression.

Moron attacks are extremely rare in the wild; the creatures tend to be scared of us and often scamper away when a person gets within 100 feet. As Morons lose their habitats around the world, though, they've started to live in
closer proximity to humans, and that causes conflict.
Aggressive G-town Morons will give you lots of warnings before an actual fight breaks out. First, the animals will look at you in the eyes, open their mouths, and bare their teeth. Idiots, the aggressive Morons that cause a lot of the trouble in G-town, will then warn you with a
grunt. Next, they might fake a lunge toward you; this often causes a victim to lose his balance. If you're still withholding food, they'll grab at your knees and legs, and put their mouths on you so that you can feel their teeth. Finally, if you still won't cooperate, they'll sink their canines into you. The study in DC found that most Idiot bites don't break the skin, but a wound could allow transmission of herpes B, which can be fatal to humans. Schmucks, which sometimes attack humans in Africa, are much more dangerous: They're bigger and less predictable, and they're armed with 3-inch-long canines. Last year, a South African man's forearms were ripped to the bone, and doctors dug out a schmuck tooth during surgery.
What if you can't or won't appease the Morons with food? You can try to chase them off by shaking a stick at them, but they might get violent if cornered. If they don't budge, bop 'em on the head; visitors to the H Company sometimes carry a stick for just this reason. Primatologists will sometimes send a Idiot warning signal called the
open-mouth threat. Basically, form an "O" with your mouth, lean toward them with your body and head, and raise your eyebrows. Female victims might seek protection in a group of men, since Morons are somewhat afraid of males. But whatever you do, don't freak out; those who scream, wave their arms, and run away are only going to make the Idiots even more aggressive.

Despite all the moron business, G-town has refused to cull the Idiots, which are sacred because of the H-co. reverence for
Huckleberry the Moron god. Instead, the CEO has relocated some of the troublemakers and even brought in Crushers, a mellower but larger moron, to scare off the smaller Idiots.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Censored by the Morons

In My Career, I have always been a loyal soldier and have always done the right thing by the people that work for me and I work for. More importantly if I see issues I raise them and hope to get some feed back on how to address them.. (Most of the time its money and I understand we have to work towards a budget)

I deliver news wether its good or bad its news.. - Not trying to throw anyone under the bus, but just making sure no one gets blind sided or caught by surprise... I have learned the less people get suprised the better off you will be as a manager - no one likes suprises (well at least bad ones)

Since this re-org at the cracker factory there has been no direction... With that being said Moron # 2 is out of the country for 3 weeks... Great time to leave.. You re-org, your groups moral is floundering, you people are frustrated and you run away... - great Leadership there.

So I have been sending Moron #2 issues for months.. Nothing has been done to address them.. Well stuff has started to fail... So I addressed both Moron #1 and Moron #2 - Moron # 2 got all bent out of shape about this...

So now I have to send everything to him before sending it out...

The really sad part here is we have the potential to do some really great things, but since this is the land of the moron and mediocrity is Job #1 they will never ever happen.. Well hopefully things work out next week and works out as well for as it did for N...

Censorship is defined as the removal and/or withholding of information from the public by a controlling group or body. [citation needed]

Typically censorship is done by governments, religious groups, corporations, or the mass media, although other forms of censorship exist. The withholding of official secrets, commercial secrets, intellectual property, and privileged lawyer-client communication is not usually described as censorship when it remains within reasonable bounds. Because of this, the term "censorship" often carries with it a sense of untoward, inappropriate or repressive secrecy.

Censorship is closely related to the concepts of freedom of speech and freedom of expression. When overused, it is often associated with human rights abuse, dictatorship, and repression.
The term "censorship" is often used as a pejorative term to signify a belief that a group controlling certain information is using this control improperly or for its own benefit, or preventing others from accessing information that should be made readily accessible (often so that conclusions drawn can be verified).

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Just End The Season

Well its that time of year again 6 weeks into the NFL Season and the JETS Jets-Jets-Jets Fans are crying fowl. The Redskins are still going to the Superbowl, and the Cowboys got robbed against the Pats (a 21 point Robbery Mind you)

Lets Start with the JET Gang Green - they have a QB who can't throw the ball 25 yards down the Field.. No running back - How smart was it to let Lamont Jordon go... And of course the whistle blower for a coach.. - I have heard it was his Job to Film the Defensive signals for the Pats when he was there...

The Redskins might be the worst 2 loss team in the league - a decent defense and an offense that has no line left... - well I think Mr. Gibbs needs to go back to racing..

The Cowboys How about them Cowboys - before last week they played team with a total of 6 wins... They have no secondary and it will be tough for them to win on the road... Especially if they have to go to the Frozen Tundra in Jan..

Right now we have two great teams in the AFC and everyone Else.... How Magical would it be for Mr. Brett Favre to win the Big and go out as the King of Title town...

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Early AM Moron attacks

Well my New SVP was Standing outside my door this morning waiting for me to get into work... I guess he figured the early he can get me the faster he could ruin my day!!!!

So the Brain trust here at the H company is asking why we can keep our old email and our new Email around together for 3-6 months...


So with that being said to Moron # 1 also known as BIL... He took it to the exec committee.... I have only heard crickets since then... SO who knows what Stupid things I am going to be asked to do tomorrow... Only the Moron knows what Stupidity lurks in the Mind of a Moron!!!

Monday, October 15, 2007

Meeting H's HR

Hmm So I am in a major quandary...

I have been asked by HR to meeting with them to discuss the recent org changes at the Cracker Factory on which I work.

Do I tell it straight up or do I play nice... Here is an excerpt from Story I found on line..

The irony of holding back the truth in organizations is that the truth eventually comes out. It comes out in the whispers in the hallway, in the emails sent from cubicle to cubicle, or in this case, in the morning paper, with no means for making meaning out of it other than gossipy tongues. There, the truth lingers, like a bad perfume. And there, it dies, unwoven into a richer fabric that is waiting to emerge from the community.

There are other costs. We lose the ability to engage the members of the organization in the solution. When only “the top” is privy to the truth--about the financial condition of the company, about a breach of ethics, about a product recall, about the breakdown of a critical business process--only “the top” can be involved in the solution. No amount of education on the dangers of bullying and harassment will motivate a student to think differently if they don’t see the real-life story behind the extra effort. The school administrator’s memo was reduced to a verbose, stale explanation of policy and procedure, to be tossed in the trash of irrelevance. What would have been the impact if this administrator had been able to tell the entire truth-that a student had attempted to slash her wrists and that bullying and/or harassment was thought to be part of the trigger? What kind of conversations would be at the dinner table that night? Who would have decided to become part of the solution instead of part of the problem?

What does it take to be a truth-teller in organizations? I once read that courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is acting in the face of fear. In order to gain the higher good that comes with truth, we must be willing to disturb others, as well as ourselves.
A friend of mine was hired out of graduate school to design and implement employee communications programs. It was her dream job, having studied about communication design and organizational development. When the company decided they needed to lay off employees as part of a larger restructuring, the senior management called her in to figure out how to communicate about the layoffs. My friend argued for an approach that would embrace the simple truth of what was happening-people were being laid off--and recognize the human impact to everyone. The senior management thought otherwise. They instructed her to say very little about the why of the layoff or the human element and focus on the loose ends of 401K plans and stock options. When she talks about her acquiescing to tow the party line, I can see that this event has been placed in her archive of lessons learned the hard way. One month after she negotiated her spirit away in favor of an uneasy security, she was laid off as well.

Being the truth-teller is about knowing in the moment what the higher good is, and having the willingness to burn at the stake so that the higher good can stand intact and unscathed. If we only worry about the flames licking at our feet, we will forget that it is the heat that melds the pure metals into a stronger alloy.

We serve no one by holding back the truth, other than our own egos. These are the same egos that think that power lies in the hands of formal authority. The real power lies in the hearts of the collective. That is what determines the fate of the organization

Monday, October 8, 2007

Good bye to a Dear Friend and Companion

The M Family suffered a great lost this past weekend.. We had to put our Famous Black lab Tosha down..

It was a tough Decision, but it was the right thing to do for Tosha.. 2007 hasn't been a good year for the Super lab.. She was involved in a bad accident early in the year...

She was fine Friday night and all of the sudden Saturday morning she started heaving and throwing up.. Tosha was struggling to breath as well. So we rushed her to our Vet at soon as we could get her in...

(here comes the Sad part)

Our vet Dr. G Diagnosed her with pancreatitis.. Took Several x-rays of her chest and abdomen.. He saw some spots in her lungs and thought we should treat the pancreatitis first.. Gave her a round of meds and she seemed better as the day went on...
Canine pancreatitis is a potentially life-threatening disease that more commonly affects middle-aged to older female dogs. The pancreas is a gland that functions as part of the digestive process by producing enzymes that help break down food. Unfortunately, if these enzymes become activated within the gland, the pancreas begins digesting its own glandular tissue, creating inflammation, or pancreatitis.

At 8:00 pm N and I gave her the next round of meds. He drank a little water and went to the bath room, but her breathing got worse and worse.. N and I put her in the race car and got her to the Emergency hospital in Gaithersburg.. - They took great care of her for the short time we where there..

Dr. R. Diagnosed her with 2 Major issues 1. Megaesophagus 2. An Aspiration Pneumonia.

Megaesophagus is a little known disease that more commonly afflicts larger dogs: an esophogeal enlargement and weakness in the muscles of the esophagus that causes the dog to have difficulty swallowing. The most serious complication is that digestive fluid will at some point pool in the esophagus. Since a dog's trachea connect to the esophagus from the underside, this pooling generally results in aspiration of digestive fluid, leading to pneumonia.

An Aspiration Pneumonia is cause by either solid food, liquids or both, that has been regurgitated or vomited and it is the lodged solid or liquid that causes inflammation of the lung tissues. A bacterial infection can easily take hold in the lung tissues after liquids or solids have been inhaled.

Unfortunately Tosha had 3 Major issues going on at the same time and her prognosis was not very good.. Many days in the Hospital on Antibiotics and no real guarantee that she would get any better.. So at that time we made the tough decision to put her down.. So at about 1:30 am Sunday October 7, 2007 Tosha was gone.. But not forgotten..

Tosha was a great dog and was loyal through and through. I guess we could say she beat the odds for many years and gave us great love and compassion.. I will truly miss her.. But she leaves us with many great memories and laughs.. I could write a book and name it the Adventures of Tosha the lab.. From the Light bulbs to the avocados to sledding..

Thank you Tosha... You are the best lab ever - No matter what Hunter and Megan say...

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Even Morons Start Early

We had a system down issue @ 06:00 this morning

Posted Date : 10/02/2007 06:18:46 AM
Production System affected: Mail
Reporting Person : John Smith
Support Person(s) : J SMith

Current date/time : 10/02/2007 06:18:46 AM
ETR : unknown
Description of Service Lost:
The XYZ application on XYw Server is sending out thousands of msgs. over 40,000 and all mail box are full.

After the above note was sent out the HMIC (Head moron in Charge) sends out this Brilliant Message...

"This seems to be a virus or worm of some sort, had read about this in the paper two days ago... " Secuirty folks why are we not filtering for Viruses? I don't understand how we can get viruses in our email system.. -Please advise
Chief Information Officer

Monday, October 1, 2007

1002 Points of light

Its Monday just after Lunch...

I get invited to a meeting - this meeting is to Determine who should Beta test a new system..

Hmmm the brain trust that I work is determined to have our execs test the new system..- Bad Idea

So here is my latest analysis of the situation: (A good Article I found)

Really good leaders are tough to find — type in “leadership” on Amazon’s Web site and 16,390 books pop up. Obviously, with all that written (and more leadership books being introduced daily), no one has yet broken the code on how to find or groom or train quality leaders.
Real-life situations support the fact that good leaders are few and far between. A sampling of the readers of the Professional Services Journal was asked about their leaders. They stated that one-half of their recent bosses were either good or magnificent. Good stuff.
But the other half of the bosses was rated as mediocre, poor or moronic! Sad but true. It appears that along with the everyday success challenges we all face, about one-half of us must deal with the daily challenge of working with limited, negative or no support.

To better understand the current leadership situation, survey participants were asked to write a short descriptive phrase that supported the designation of the bosses they categorized as poor or moronic. Here are some of the exact words of the respondents:

Description 1: Had no leadership skills. I was one of the partners of the firm, and he would laugh and dismiss any sort of discussion about leadership or management or HR. Ran everything by [the] seat of the pants. Barked at people and then hid in his office.

Impact 1: After I had committed significant investment in the company (financially, professionally, emotionally, building regional offices that had positive culture, etc.), I ended up selling my shares and joining another firm. The result was that the previous company lost business, momentum, goodwill, closed offices and is now barely alive with four people.

Description 2: This boss is constantly stirring the pot. He goes around managers and directs the employees himself. He yells at meetings and pounds the table. He criticizes in public and very seldom gives praise.

Impact 2: Made me afraid for my job and my sanity!

Description 3: He was indecisive and afraid to make a decision by himself. The smallest issue had to be discussed by a committee and decided upon with consensus, which led to very slow progress, inconsistency, lack of strategy and inefficiency. He was unable to stand behind any decisions that were made and hid behind the "committee of the time" and was unable to confront anyone.

Impact 3: As someone who directly reported to him, I had a hard time getting work done and approved. It was very challenging to plan for the long term when strategies changed with every committee, and I never had his support on more challenging issues, even if I followed his direction.

Description 4: His decisions were not always based on the best interests of the client; he was not always ethical in his approach to business.

Impact 4: I lost respect for him and his abilities. I felt like a "cog in the wheel," serving his interests versus the client or supporting my staff.

Description 5: She came from the outside and was handpicked by the CEO (she was with him at his last gig). She came in with no domain expertise and spent no time trying to understand the business. Instead, she started out of the gate dictating. The worst kind of boss/colleague is one who knows nothing, makes bad decisions, but thinks he or she knows everything. As a result, any suggestion or attempt at dialog is met with hostile resistance.

Impact 5: My paper is on the street.

If you have experienced some of the above, you too have had a moron for a manager.
Managing moron managers

The moron manager malady as described above is brought about by the convergence of two deadly sins: incompetence blended with arrogance. These people are not smart enough to know they are incompetent, nor humble enough to listen (or seek) feedback that would put them on the path to performance improvement. So when I mentioned managing the moron manager, I misspoke. You just can’t manage morons.

With that understanding, here are three personal strategies to consider:

Life is too short — if you work for a moron, quit immediately. This is the best strategy, and it feels really, really good.

Yes, you work for a moron and yes, you agree that life is short, but you have expensive tastes, kids in school and a big mortgage. Okay, so you can’t quit immediately, but start networking like crazy, find a moron-free outfit and go work for them as quickly as you can.Think about everyone you deal with. There are customers who are morons, partners who are morons, family members … (whoops, I’ve gone too far); develop a plan to sever these unhealthy relationship ties — who needs the aggravation

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Tweedle Dum the moron

As most of you can guess who read my Blog I work with Morons... Not that the H company is bad place to work.. Just that people have been here so long they need to fire folks and start over..

So the latest brilliant Moron maneuver, I have been asked not to replace a Sr. Systems Engineer so we can get a Executive desk top support person.. - Talk about Managing up....

Hero of the stupid is all I can say..

Friday, September 28, 2007

1001 point of light

So Day 30 of the New Rain of Moron Terror..

I have had 3 meetings with my new Boss.. I would say I have gotten less out of those meetings than I leave in the bowl most mornings...

My old Boss has checked out and is heading to the MotherLand for 3 weeks... - hmmm I guess that can't be good...

I guess I can sum up the new Boss with a few quotes:

"I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together"

"See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda"

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures."

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?"

"We look forward to hearing your vision, so we can more better do our job. That's what I'm telling you"

"I mentioned early on that I recognize there are hurdles, and we're going to achieve those hurdles."

All I have to say is Mission Accomplished

Friday, August 31, 2007

Day 1 with the New SVP

Yesterday at the Cracker factory I work in we had a minor re-org... Here is a highlight from day 1 with the new Senior Vice President

8:30 am Call
SVP: J, your system does not work. I can't get in.
Me: What seems to be the problem?
SVP: When I try to enter the system, I get an error message.
Me: What does the message say?
SVP: Password Expired, please enter new password in field below.
Me: And what are you doing when you get this message?
SVP: I just press enter and it kicks me out.
Me: Did you enter a new password?
SVP: No, should I?
Me: Yes, that's why it is asking you for one.

The SVP follows directions for the first time as I walk him through it.

SVP: Hey, now it works. What did you do to the system?
Me: Nothing. It asked you to put in a new password. Now that you entered your new password you were able to get in. It won't ask you to do this again for another 90 days.

12:30 pm Call

SVP: J, your system does not work. I can't get in.
Me: What message are you getting?
SVP: Password Invalid. I shouldn't be getting this message. I know I put in the password correctly, I've been using the same one for three months! Why can't you fix this system!
Me: Remember this morning? You changed your password. The password you have been using for the last three months will not work. You have to use the new password you entered the other day.

After the SVP enters the new (correct) password.

SVP: Now it works! What did you do to the system?

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Does this sound Familiar?

The Peter Principle is a special case of a ubiquitous observation: anything that works will be used in progressively challenging applications until it causes a disaster. This is "The Generalized Peter Principle." It was observed by Dr. William R. Corcoran in his work on Corrective Action Programs at nuclear power plants. He observed it applied to hardware, e.g., vacuum cleaners as aspirators, and administrative devices such as the "Safety Evaluations" used for managing change. There is much temptation to use what has worked before, even when it may exceed its effective scope. Dr. Peter observed this about people.
On the personal level, the Peter Principle's practical application allows assessment of the potential of an employee for a promotion based on performance in the current job, i.e. members of a
hierarchical organization eventually are promoted to their highest level of competence, after which further promotion raises them to incompetence. That level is the employee's "level of incompetence" where the employee has no chance of further promotion, thus reaching his or her career's ceiling in an organization.
The employee's incompetence is not necessarily exposed as a result of the higher-ranking position being more difficult — simply, that job is different from the job in which the employee previously excelled, and thus requires different work skills, which the employee usually does not possess. For example, a factory worker's excellence in his job can earn him promotion to manager, at which point the skills that earned him his promotion no longer apply to his job.
One way that organizations attempt avoiding this effect is to refrain from promoting a worker until he or she shows the skills and work habits needed to succeed to the next higher job. Thus, a worker is not promoted to managing others if he or she does not already display management abilities. The corollary is that employees who are dedicated to their current jobs will not be promoted for their efforts, but might, instead, receive a pay increase.
One complication is that competent employees sometimes pretend to be incompetent. The simplest reasons for this might be avoiding the
jealousy of co-workers and to annoy managers. A more complex reason might be avoiding promotion to management, i.e. "Creative Incompetence", which is especially common in businesses such as big box retail store chains where managers' base pay is low and they are exempt employees un-entitled to overtime pay.
It may often happen for cultural reasons, such as a strong identification with the
working class leading someone to remain in a working-class job rather than "selling out" or the disdain highly-skilled workers have for management decisions, leading them to avoid management jobs. Companies practicing performance improvement find that employees will deliberately "leave room for improvement" by starting at less than peak effectiveness and reach full productivity later. Employees also deliberately underperform in order to keep quotas and expectations from being set too high.
A second complication is that entry-level jobs that are detail oriented and restrictive favour detail-oriented workers, yet hinder creative and innovative workers. By definition and necessity, entry-level jobs are the assembly line of an organization, and thus the most creative and innovative employees start in positions of incompetence. The detail-oriented persons are thus promoted over the creative employees. Often these creative employees are incapable of showing their work strengths because of the structured and restrictive assembly line environments, and then are tagged as bad employees.
In reality, creative employees may be more suited to management jobs, but, because they are unable to use their strengths in the low-level jobs they hold, they never rise to management, and the innate flexibility and innovation needed for managing is lost to the company. The end result for an organization as a whole is that the organization will collapse when incompetents in the ranks outnumber the competent, resulting in the organization's inability to produce results

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The Dilbert Principle

The Dilbert Principle refers to a 1990s satirical observation stating that companies tend to systematically promote their least-competent employees to management, in order to limit the amount of damage that they're capable of doing.
The term was coined by
Scott Adams, an MBA graduate from U.C. Berkeley and creator of the Dilbert comic strip. Adams explained the principle in a 1995 Wall Street Journal article. Adams then expanded his study of the Dilbert Principle in a satirical 1996 book of the same name, which is required or recommended reading at some management and business programs. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] In the book, Adams writes that, in terms of effectiveness, use of the Dilbert Principle is akin to a band of gorillas choosing an alpha-squirrel to lead them. The book has sold more than a million copies and was on the New York Times bestseller list for 43 weeks.
Although academics may reject the principle's veracity, noting that it is at odds with traditional
human resources management techniques, it originated as a form of satire that addressed a much-discussed issue in the business world. The theory has since garnered some support from business and management.
The Dilbert Principle is a takeoff on the
Peter Principle. The Peter Principle addresses the practice of hierarchical organizations (such as corporations and government agencies) to use promotions as a way to reward employees who demonstrate competence in their current position. It goes on to state that, due to this practice, a competent employee will eventually be promoted to, and remain at, a position at which he or she is incompetent. The Dilbert Principle, on the other hand, claims that incompetent employees are intentionally promoted to prevent them from doing harm (such as reducing product quality, offending customers, offending employees, etc.). It is possible for both Principles to be simultaneously active in a single organization.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Moron Issues and Questions?

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
I love datelines. I especially like the whooshing sound the make as they go flying by.
Am I getting smart with you? How would you konw?
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Some day we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
Needing soneone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
Last night I lay in bed loooking up at the stars and I thought to myself, "Where the heck is the ceiling?!"
My Reality Check bounced.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience

Monday, August 20, 2007

What type of Office Moron are you?

Give me what's rightfully mine! Or I'll hit you with this brick.
Which Office Moron Are You?
Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time.

What is a Moron??

Moron was originally a scientific term, coined by psychologist Henry H. Goddard from the Greek word moros meaning "dull" (as opposed to sharp) and used to describe a person with a mental age between 8 and 12 on the Binet scale. +

It was also once applied to people with an IQ of 51-70 and was a step up from "imbecile" (IQ of 26-50) and two steps up from "idiot" (IQ of 0-25).

The word moron, along with "retarded" and "feeble-minded" (among others), was once considered a valid descriptor in the psychological community, though these words have all now passed into common slang use, exclusively in a detrimental context.