Buck Foston

Well today is the day... The good guys in the land of the Morons took a hit.. Our good friend and Colleague, BF is leaving us... Our fight against the powers of Moronocricity has taken a big blow..

BF is heading off to retardedment... I am so jealous.. A good guy and the voice of Sanity for us who are trying to remain normal in the land of the moron...

As BF would say how was the play Mrs. Lincoln??? Good I think!!!

But he is tired of the fight against the evil morons and wants to go back to enemy Territory Red Sox nation..

As we say in the Bronx have a Nice Day... But BF is a good guy and he will be missed... But He does owe me Dinner at Tellers.. Yummy... Plus I think he will hook me up in the next Life with Spa treatments at his son's spa on LI... Click-Clack.


So I guess God answers all your Prayers - Some times the answer is no, but in BF's case its yes and YES he can run from the Morons..

So we wish BF good luck in his retardedment and hope it goes well... 20Db hot... True Quam...

Buck Foston

Today in Moronville

For the latest installment of Mornocracity listen to this one... I have a hard time believing what goes on at the H company on a Daily basis..

Well the Rock stars of Rock fetches are at it again.... Hmm How can we take an operational infrastructure type team and make it fit into a poorly managed cowboy like Development model...

So if you have like 14 people in one group and 16 in another and they do 90% operations work and 10% Value Add? What is Value added? Good question? Value add?

so like 27 of them are operations folks I want to make it so that we do 50% operations and 50% value added stuff..

So how does this work? Its called 3 Card Monti !!!! Shuffle it around until you get my numbers right!!! MORONS

The joys of the H company.... LET MORONS RING!!!

Sunday Silenced

Being a big sports fans has its ups and downs...

Since I have been following sports the last 20 yrs , I have seen some great NY based teams..

Since My move down south I have adopted the Ravens as my #2 go football team

So here have been some good moments in my pro sport History
1. 1986 - Giants win the Superbowl
2. 1990 Giants win the Superbowl
3. 1994 Rangers win the Stanley Cup
4. 1996 Yankees win the World Series
5. 1998- 2000 Yankees win the World Series

Jeff's High school sport Record!!!
1987 Sachem wins the Rutgers Cup!!!! - My High School Football team best team in the County

1986-1988 Sachem Wrestling county Champs - Me - Place winner and runner up as well

So I have seen my share success's and Failures during my sports life...

But yesterday hit Rock bottom.... (I can't even pick on the JETS - good thing they had a bye)

Bengals 21- Ravens 7 6 turnovers - No quarter back poor coaching - Billick must go

Cowboys 31- Giants 20 - so much for six in a row...

So I got to sit throw the Ravens debacle - how bad was that!!!!

The only solace is the redskins lost in bad way to the Eagles!!!! :)

Bon Jovi - with Dee

I am going to see Bon Jovi with my MIL on 28-feb-08 - How sacry is that!!!!
In tribute to this fine occasion I think we need to investigate all the great American Hair Bands!!!!
Yeah, well I've been up and been down, town to town with several bands, Then tortured for ten long years by critics, agents and the A&R man, and some bandwagon fans.
It's time to stand up, fight back, be proud and once again be free, So if you want a piece of me, come and get it!
Kurt Cobain is gone but I'm back Wearing leather pants and a backwards hat Guitars slung low Where the down boys go
The night trains back so on with the show I'm Metal Health And dressed to thrill
I'm an SMF with the looks that kill I rocked and rolled, n' long hair is back
And I grew up, singing Strutter, And Back, in Black I'm going back to eighty-nine I went Platinum zero times
You're in the jungle sweet child o'mine I want another piece of that cherry pie

Chorus #1: (Oooooohhhhhh) They call 'em hairbands Leather jacket in black Throw your hands in the air Yeah we're bringing it back N' Say (Shout, Shout) At the Devil again And Say (Shout, Shout) At the Devil my friend So Say (Shout, Shout) never letting it end and say (Shout, Shout, Shout, Shout) yeah…(Bad Medicine)
I like Old Van Halen and Hanoi Rocks Black n' Blue and Britny Fox Guns n' Roses, Motley Crue When Def Leppard rocked and Skid Row ruled Yeah, Ratt went round n' round Rocking out in Boston, get loud in Chi-town Vandenberg, Priest, Dok-ken, Kix Throwing Faster Pussycat in the mix (P-P-P-P-P-Pussycat) Give me L.A. Guns & The Dangerous Toys Quiet Riot, Bang Tango & Bullet Boys Love Johnny Crash grunge bands are trash I like C.C. DeVille, Mick Mars, and Slash
Chorus: #2 Breakdown: Yeah, I saw your grunge band, staring at your shoes on stage, wearing that dirty flannel shirt, when you gonna learn dirtball, you just can't f**k with Twisted Sister. "What are you going to do with your life"?
I'm an American hairband Watch me rock You can raise your hands Or you can suck my c**k Heavy Metal God I'm a Pin-up boy I'm the singer from Tuff not Pretty Boy Floyd Super loud and Super wild Sebastian Bach is youth gone wild Diamond Dave and Nikki Sixx I wanna see Tommy Lee back spinning those sticks Up all night, gonna sleep all day I love girls; girls, girls and I love L.A. I won't waste my breath, but here's a clue Give Pearl Jam & Eddie a big f**k you Who cares about Weezer and the Screeming Trees When we got White Lion And of course the Sleeze Beez
If you wanna rock n' roll then read my lips Let's shout it out loud For a band named KISS
Chorus: (Oooooohhhhhh) They call 'em hairbands Wearing leather and black So throw your hands in the air Now we're bringing it back N' Say (Shout, Shout) At the Devil again And Say (Shout, Shout) At the Devil my friend So Say (Shout, Shout) never letting it end and say (Shout, Shout, Shout, Shout) yeah, I'm a hairband wanted dead or alive Singing (Shout, Shout, Shout, Shout) I wanna rock n' roll in the still of the night Say (Shout, Shout, Shout, Shout) Gonna take you down to the Paradise city And (Shout, Shout, Shout, Shout) Everybody let's sing talk dirty to me

Just end the Season Part II

So the Mighty Washington Redskins treck north to Giants Stadium this weekend to take on Your New York JETS jets jets jets..........

talk about a Barn burner of a game... The 1-7 Jets and the Superbowl bound Redskins who go robbed last week 52-7 by the Patriots..

As the New England folks call Eric Manjudas and his new QB are looking at the Fearsome Foreskins!!!!


I hate that Friggin fireman- JETS JETS JETS JETS - what ever!!!!! So lets hope for the best and maybe a 0-0 tie but at least we could say that NE isn't running the score up on either team this weekend..

Justify your existence

We are now into month 3 of the Moron Reign of terror... An Today all Sr. Dir and up got this memo for our illustrious SVP (Aka Moron #1)



" All I have been asked repeatably why we have so many people... I think we need to take a long hard look at what we do and see how we can come up with Better ways to do things with less resources"

"I need each of you to give me a list of projects and Day to day events that we can outsource and do with Cheaper labor" (I am in India looking at an outsource agreement as I type this email)

Please have this completed by COB today.. I would like to get the ball rolling on this by 15-Nov and if we need to RIF folks we can do it then.



Thanks

Your Friend the SVP (aka Mron #2)

So another delemma here at Moron U... Not sure how to take this one.. but We have three folks resign today and my guess is we are going have a few more before the end of the year... If I make it to Bonus time, there will be a mass exodus after that..

The sad part this could be a great place to work if we didn't have the Family running the place... Can some one say West Virginia - Oh I guess its India East!!!!

How To Fight Morons - WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY ANGRY IDIOTS?

A Sr. Director of H Company, was attacked by Morons, his family members say. The Company has around 10,000 Morons, some of which have taken to roaming through buildings as they steal food and rip apart documents. What should you do if Morons are picking on you?

It's like Mom said about muggers: Just give 'em what they want. When Morons get aggressive, it's usually because they think you have something to eat. According to one study, about three-quarters of all the aggressive interactions between long-tailed Idiots and tourists at G-towns Moron Forest involved food. If you are holding a snack, throw it in their direction, and they'll stop bothering you. If you don't have any food, hold out your open palms to show you're not carrying a tasty treat or back away from the Morons without showing fear. To diffuse the situation, don't make eye contact or smile with your teeth showing—in the nonhuman primate world, these are almost always signs of aggression.

Moron attacks are extremely rare in the wild; the creatures tend to be scared of us and often scamper away when a person gets within 100 feet. As Morons lose their habitats around the world, though, they've started to live in closer proximity to humans, and that causes conflict.
Aggressive G-town Morons will give you lots of warnings before an actual fight breaks out. First, the animals will look at you in the eyes, open their mouths, and bare their teeth. Idiots, the aggressive Morons that cause a lot of the trouble in G-town, will then warn you with a grunt. Next, they might fake a lunge toward you; this often causes a victim to lose his balance. If you're still withholding food, they'll grab at your knees and legs, and put their mouths on you so that you can feel their teeth. Finally, if you still won't cooperate, they'll sink their canines into you. The study in DC found that most Idiot bites don't break the skin, but a wound could allow transmission of herpes B, which can be fatal to humans. Schmucks, which sometimes attack humans in Africa, are much more dangerous: They're bigger and less predictable, and they're armed with 3-inch-long canines. Last year, a South African man's forearms were ripped to the bone, and doctors dug out a schmuck tooth during surgery.
What if you can't or won't appease the Morons with food? You can try to chase them off by shaking a stick at them, but they might get violent if cornered. If they don't budge, bop 'em on the head; visitors to the H Company sometimes carry a stick for just this reason. Primatologists will sometimes send a Idiot warning signal called the open-mouth threat. Basically, form an "O" with your mouth, lean toward them with your body and head, and raise your eyebrows. Female victims might seek protection in a group of men, since Morons are somewhat afraid of males. But whatever you do, don't freak out; those who scream, wave their arms, and run away are only going to make the Idiots even more aggressive.

Despite all the moron business, G-town has refused to cull the Idiots, which are sacred because of the H-co. reverence for Huckleberry the Moron god. Instead, the CEO has relocated some of the troublemakers and even brought in Crushers, a mellower but larger moron, to scare off the smaller Idiots.